On a snowy, winter night, many years ago a group of championship cheerleaders were driving back to Edmonton when the school bus they were riding in swerved off the road and crashed. By the time rescuers arrived there were no remains left. There was a path of lipstick and gore that they followed and it led them to a group of girls feasting on the body of a helpless victim. The girls screamed for BRAAIIIINNNS and ROLLLLER SKAAATES! Fearing for their lives the rescuers provided both and the E-Ville Dead rose to be the roller derby team you love and fear.
Coach Pauly Coach
A double agent from a Russian Derby League. She's here to collect our secrets to take back to the Motherland. She blends in quite well so make sure you don't accidently give her your credit card and favorite pair of skates
A freak combine accident caused Hellon to lose her sight at a young age; she was relieved when it suddenly came back at a roller derby game. As soon as she saw the hip checks and arm whips, she knew what she was destined to do.
Urethra Franklin, the godmother of Soul and Urine, joined derby the same day she smashed all 20 of her Grammy's because she lost a hot dog eating contest. She enjoys throwing things, screaming, big hair, and being the best.
Tuf Luvaka "Tuf"
This cute little package is one tough lady. Tuf Luv gives new meaning to the phrase "Love Hurts" with her pint sized power packed hits and quick thinking. Tuf will have you falling head over heels in luv as your head hits the track and she skates by you. Ain't no love like Tuf Luv.
Coco grew up making crafts and talking about feelings, and in spite, fell into roller derby as easily as you'd expect for someone with a bad inner ear problem. Coco packs a hefty type-A personality and has never met a hit she didn't like. She'll smash your face in a game, but'll make sure you have a cold one to put on it at the after party.
KISS of Beth
KISS of Beth came to derby to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and she's all outta bubble gum.
Razzle Jazzle hails from the Emerald City (Seattle) with a sparkle in her step and diamonds in her eyes. While trying to make it big she stumbled upon Derby and was drawn towards the die-hard fans and fame of the game. Luckily Razzle Jazzle was always well stocked with glitter, fishnets, and tiny outfits. She still has her sights on her name in lights but loves getting prepped for the rough world of stardom with hard hits and smart strategy.
With hook and yarn in hand Scrappy searched the internet for her next crochet project when she came across some photos of fast skating, hard hits, booty blocking and fishnet bruises. She became wild with excitement and put down her hook and yarn in search of these E-Ville women. On the track she's sure to be your source of frustration as she uses that booty she was born with to sit on you. Oh, and don't let her girl next door looks fool ya, she's anything but... Likes: tattoos, piercings, booty blocking, hooks and yarn Dislikes: losing my toe stops, running out of yarn
Viva Las Legas
Winnie the Puta
Her name could be misleading; Winnie may remind you of a gentle bear, but Puta can be a real bitch! She can take the hardest hits, and you might think she is down, but don't turn your back because she is spring loaded and is back up in seconds flying like a G6. Likes- Black eyeliner, and holes in the other teams pack. Dislikes- slippery wheels,and Christopher Robin.
Angeroo Living Dead
Ghetto Rose Living Dead
Ghetto comes from the 'hood of ice and snow, but she will melt your heart with one frosty stare. This is one pretty little Rose, but don't get it twisted, GhettoRose will cut you, cut you for realz. After all, she's just a ghetto girl living in a ghetto world. A ghettofabulous world. Likes: boys named Thor, clubbing seals, and stalactites Dislikes: global warming, holes in boats, Bjork
Smokin' Bones Living Dead
Twiggie Living Dead
Likes anything with an engine preferably a small block chevy dragster and a Kawasaki drag bike, the only loves in her life are a vw and little red ninja.